Lagi-lagi Valentine...

Zaman sekarang masih saja meributkan Valentine?

Ya, hari valentine memang bukan hari yang dirayakan atau dijalankan oleh agamaku -yaitu Islam-. sejauh yang aku tau, hari valentine berkembang dari isu suatu agama awalnya dan kemudian berkembang menjadi tradisi yang kemudian tersebar ke seluruh dunia. ya, aku tidak terlalu peduli dengan hal ini, karena aku sendiri tidak merayakan valentine, tidak pernah dan kedepannya juga tidak ada niat untuk merayakannya. tapi, apakah hal ini harus aku teriakan ke semua orang agar orang-orang tahu? haruskah aku berteriak "hei, aku tidak merayakan valentine!", "hei, valentine itu diharamkan!", "Hei, kamu kan muslim, kenapa kamu ngerayain valentine??" , "Hei, valentine itu milik agama lain.. bla..bla..bla.. dan blablabla...!".

Apa harus begitu?? menurutku tidak. Mengapa Tuhan memberikan kita akal dan pikiran? mengapa Tuhan memberitahu kita tanda-tanda akhil baligh? karena Tuhan tau bahwa kita bisa menentukan sendiri mana yang benar dan mana yang salah. semua orang punya jalan hidup masing-masing, pilihan masing-masing yang nantinya akan dipertanggungjawabkan masing-masing pula.jadi kenapa memusingkan diri sendiri dengan mengurusi apakah seseorang merayakan valentine atau tidak?

Tuhan jelas telah memerintahkan kita untuk mematuhi segala perintahnya dan menjauhi segala larangannya. sekarang kembali kepada manusianya yang memutuskan, mematuhinya atau melanggarnya. aku percaya jika Tuhan mau, akan sangat mudah bagi-Nya -mungkin lebih mudah dari mengedipkan mata- untuk membuat semua orang jahat menjadi baik, menyadarkan orang yang berada dijalan yang salah untuk kembali ke jalan yang benar. Lalu apa?

Kenapa Tuhan harus menciptakan surga dan neraka jika dia dengan mudah dapat membuat semua orang menjadi baik, menghilangkan semua nafsu dan pikiran jahat dari diri manusia? disanalah kita justru harus mencari pembelajaran hidup. dengan dapat memutuskan sendiri jalan hidup yang kita pilih. kenapa sibuk mengurusi apa yang dilakukan dan dijalankan oleh orang lain? kenapa tidak mengurus urusan sendiri saja? kenapa tidak berbenah diri saja? apakah dari segala sudut kita sudah lebih baik dari orang lain? jika jawabannya 'tidak', maka perbaikilah diri kita. dan jika jawabannya adalah 'ya', maka rendah hatilah.


"when you do the best, then you deserve the best."

Perempuan itu AKU

Aku mungkin bukan perempuan modern yang mengerti tekhnologi paling update saat ini, aku juga jauh dari sebutan "anak gaul". Aku pun tidak pandai bersolek dan memiih pakaian bagus yang sedang trendy dan mahal. Jika zaman sekarang banyak laki-laki yang dengan bangga memamerkan pasangannya yang cantik dan seksi ke teman-temannya, mungkin hal yang sama tidak akan kau temukan didiriku.

Maaf karna aku hanya perempuan sederhana, yang ingin memiliki rutinitas yang sederhana pula. Mebangunkanmu di setiap pagimu, menyiapkan segala kebutuhanmu dan mendoakanmu agar kau pulang dengan selamat. Kau tau? Aku perempuan yang akan rajin menonton berita untuk mengetahui keadaan di luar sana, berdoa agar kau dilindungi ketika kau sedang tidak ada di rumah. Perempuan yang akan menelponmu setiap 30 menit untuk sekedar mengingatkanmu "jangan lupa minum air putih" atau sekedar bertanya "ingin makan apa siang ini?", karena setelah itu dengan senang hati aku akan memasak untukmu:).

Dan meskipun aku tidak pandai bersolek tapi aku akan mempercantik diriku dengan selalu tersenyum disaat menantimu pulang dengan semua rasa lelah setelah bekerja seharian. Menyambutmu dengan segelas air dan bersyukur karena kau pulang dengan selamat. Aku perempuan yang akan menjadi tempatmu bercerita tentang apa yang kau jumpai dan terjadi di luar sana. Memijat kakimu hingga kau tertidur sangat pulas sampai pagimu menjelang.

Hingga rutinitas itu terjadi bertahun-tahun sampai kita merasa kalau kita tidak bisa berdiri sendiri tanpa satu sama lain di sisi kita. Aku perempuan yang akan tidur dan terjaga di sampingmu hingga nanti ketika kita sudah sangat tua renta bagi anak cucu kita.

Perempuan itu AKU.

Another Treasure

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       Disclaimer : One Piece belongs to Oda sensei

       Summary   : just a little romance in One Piece

       Genre        : romance

       Pairing       : Zoro x Robin 


       WARNING : Little lime inside... :p

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“Nami, Robin! Back to the ship now!”  Luffy yelled out while face Smoker. 

“Not so easy boy” Smoker smirked at him. “Chase those girls!” Smoker order

Sanji and the others were facing the marine, Nami and Robin made a walk toward the seashore.  But Robin stopped when she saw the green-haired swordsman was fighting in the second floor’s porch with a dark-haired woman. ‘Tashigi’ she thought. She turned back and run toward the building.

“Robin! Where are you going?” Nami cried as Robin run away

“I’ll be back soon Miss Navigator” Robin kept running toward the second floor. ‘How could he face her, I must help him’. But it’s not an easy thing, two marines chase after her. ‘Shit, I have no time for this’. She face them “SEIS FLEUR!” six arms grew from those marine’s body and their neck “CLUTCH!” she cried and cracked sounds was heard in air before those marine fell on the ground. ‘Zoro, please wait’

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“Why Roronoa? You couldn’t beat me?” said Tashigi

‘Tashigi.. Kuina.. Tashigi.. Kuina.. no, she was Tashigi! Kuina has gone.’ Zoro told himself.

“Cursed you woman! I more than willing to cut you to pieces!” hissed Zoro

“Then prove it” whispered Tashigi as move closer toward him

“You… you.. Don’t you dare..” then all his words was cut off by her kiss

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She went up across the stairs and run toward the porch. She opened the door and shocked, the only thing she could see that Zoro was kissing Tashigi. Robin did nothing but froze.

“Zo..ro..” she whispered, she felt that the tears started filled her eyes.

Zoro turned his head toward the frozen raven-haired woman in the door. His eyes wide in shocked. Robin run away, but he could see her tears

“Robin..” he released from Tashigi and run after her. “ROBIN! Wait!” she turned to face him, her tears were drowning on her cheek. ‘DAMN IT! I made her cry’ Zoro cursed himself, “Robin, listen to me” He tried calmed her, but she just stared at him painfully.

Zoro moved forward slowly, “Robin, it’s not like what you thought.” He reached his hand to her

“Don’t!” she whispered while took a step back.

“Robin..” Zoro said in desperate as moved to catch her

“Stay away!” she cried. And she saw Tashigi showed behind him

“Robin..”

“DOS FLEUR!” two hands grew from the floor and held his legs keep on his place. “I hate you, Mr. Swordsman..” she said weakly as run away.

“ROBIN!!” he tried to release but those hands gripped his legs tightly.

“Roronoa..” Tashigi tried to spoke but cut off by him

“Just go away or I’ll cut you to pieces Tashigi, for real!” he said coldly. He really pissed to himself, ‘I made her cry. I would never forgive myself’. He ran as those hana-hana hands lost and turned to sakura’s petals. He ran outside and tried to chase Robin.

 He saw Luffy was fighting with smoker. Sanji, Franky, and Chopper were facing the marines and Ussop was busy scratching the blackboard with his nails for his stupid “Sogeking Noise!” then Zoro threw his gaze looking for Robin. He saw her run toward the ship, he ran after her but then he saw a marine tried to shoot her. ‘SHIT!’ he ran toward that marine, put wadou to his mouth, Sandai Kitetsu and Yubashiri in his hands “Santoryu…”

BANG!

His eyes wide in shocked, he saw Robin fell on the ground. Her shoulder was bleeding and she groaned when held the pain. He got piss off and glared at that marine, then he placing Wadou back. “YOU BASTARD!!!” cried Zoro. “SANJU ROKU… POND CANNON!” the only thing that could be seen was Zoro beheaded that marine’s head. He never beheaded someone in his life before, he even didn’t know why he did it now, as if it just happen.

 He ran toward her, he was speechless. He kneel down and hold her bloody body. He stared at her. Pale. Unconscious. Bleeding. He didn’t know what to do, he just held her tightly and shook her body harshly. “Robin…Robin wake up..” he whispered huskily in her hair.

“Oi you, stupid marimo! What the hell are you doing there? We need you here!” cried Sanji while he saw Zoro kneel down on the ground. His eyes snapped in wide as he looked who’s in his arms. “ROBIN CHAN! What the hell happened to her?” yelled Sanji as ran towards him. No response. “DAMN YOU SHITTY HEAD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?” cried Sanji as he tried to take Robin’s body from Zoro’s arms.

“DON’T TOUCH HER!” cried Zoro, he stood up and make a walk to the ship, ‘I must save her! Robin, don’t leave me!’

“CHOPPER!COME HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ROBIN!” Sanji cried at Chopper. Chopper who was facing the marines ran towards them, he saw Robin’s unconscious body.

“What happening?” asked him confusedly

“JUST BRING HER TO THE SHIP AND TAKE CARE OF HER! AND DON’T WASTE ANY TIME!” he shouted. Chopper ran to Zoro.

“Zoro, give her to me, I’ll take care of her..” said Chopper hastily, Zoro kept moved away and ignored him. “Zoro…”

“COULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!” cried Zoro

Sanji moved and pulled Zoro’s collar, “Oi bastard, what could you do? COULD YOU SAVE HER HUH? YOU JUST LET HER HURT! JUST LET CHOPPER LOOK AFTER HER! We need you here!”

Right, nothing he could do. Zoro stopped and turned facing Chopper, “Save her, I’m begging to you…” he whispered as gave Robin to Chopper.

“I would!” said Chopper as he made his walk

“Oi Shitty head, we…” Sanji never saw him like this before, his eyes was so dark. The only thing he could see in his eyes was a desire- desire to kill.

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He could see nothing, only Robin in his head. No more.

“NITORYU….” Zoro moved towards the marines “NIGIRI OTORO!” the bodies was scattered on the ground. “IAI RASHOMON” more, “TORO NAGASHI” more, “SANSEN SEKAI!” more, “108 POUND CANON!” more, “SANTORYU TATSUMAKI…. LIFE CYCLE!” more, he was totally lost control.

Tashigi come and saw him, “RORONOA!” she cried, Zoro face her. He placing Sandai Kitetsu and Yubashiri back to their sheath and held on Wadou, he walked toward her.

“IAI…” he could think nothing but Robin, he didn’t care if he must kill someone or has been killed. He only could see Robin and her bloody body, “SHISHI SONSON!”

A woman cried

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Chopper came out from his room, tears drowning on his check. “She was saved, bur she lost so much blood…. We need the transfusion” he said to all of the crew.

“What type of blood?” asked Nami

“AB, and we need to hurry” said Chopper still sobbed

“It’s me… I’ll give her my blood, even all of them” Sanji spoke to Chopper

“Come on Sanji, we need to hurry!”

“If something happen to her, I would never forgive you BASTARD!” said Sanji to the frozen swordsman on the edge of the ship before followed Chopper.

Zoro look away to the sea, ‘Even you, couldn’t hate me as much as I hate myself. If something happen to her, I’m more than willing for begging you to kill me’. Nami looked at him, she could felt his feeling. She knew that Robin means something for him- maybe everything, she walked and stood next to him. She looked away to the sea, sighed once before speak.

“Zoro… it wasn’t your fault. It’s an accident.” Said Nami tried to comfort him

“It was..” said Zoro coldly, he bent while continue his words, “I’ve hurt her.. I made her cry.. I made her laying there…bleeding..” he said sadly

“You’re not, she got hurt because those marines, not YOU! She would understand and forgive you Zoro…”

“She won’t.. You didn’t see the way she looked at me… She won’t Nami..” Nami was shocked, Usually Zoro just called her with ‘witch’ or even ‘bitch’, but now he called her name. She could see how hurt he was. “And if something happen to her..”

“She would be saved! Chopper was taking care of her now! Just take it Zoro” she cut his words before left him alone.

“I wish…” Zoro whispered to himself. ‘God.. If you’re really exist, then prove it. Save her.. I’m begging to you..’ he looked up the high sky

FLASHBACK

He was lost in thought about their raven-haired archeologist while he heard a knock on his door. ‘Shit! What is it?’ he gave no response. Another knocked, ‘DAMN IT!’ he got up from his bed, walked and opened the door annoyed.

“What the hell is it?” he said before frozen, yeah the one that he was thinking about was there. Stood In front of him. Smiling. Real. Perfect.

“May I come in Mr. Swordsman?” she asked softly as stared at him.

He frown but said “Yes of course..” he let her come and closed the door before followed her. “Hmm.. what’s going on?” he asked her coldly.

She chuckled and looked at him, “Hmm… I just felt that the night’s breeze is colder than usual.” She smiled. ‘What the heck! How could she say that damn shame thing with that damn gorgeous smile?’ cursed Zoro in his mind. “Mr. Swordsman… what’s wrong?’ she asked him firmly- still smiling.

“Erw.. mmm… nothing..” he bet his face as red as MONGKY ASS now. “So… Wh- What do you want from me? You can ask that stupid ass-cook to make you a simple cup of coffee” he spoke nervously. “It will make you feel warmer.”

“I see.. But I thought, I have another way to feel warmer. And it absolutely much better than coffee” said Robin softly as moved closer to him. ‘DAMN IT! She teased me now’ cursed Zoro as he felt intimidation from her close. He felt his cheek warmer, he never so close with any woman before, not because he’s not interested with women, he just didn’t want to waste any time for ‘stupid thing’ like flirting or crush. He’s not like that stupid love-cook. ‘No! She must be just teased me, to see if I’m as weak as she though. She totally wrong if she thought that she can play with me like a fool’

“What the hell are you talking about Robin?” he said in annoyed.

She took one step closer, he took one step back toward the bed. “You know exactly what I’m talking about… Zoro-kun” she whispered as move closer again. ‘Oh CRAP! Now she called me by my name to tease me. I knew she said it on purpose’ hissed him in his mind. Zoro felt something hotter than before brushing his cheek. His heart beat faster, sweat started to flow from his forehead. He took another back steps and stopped as his legs touch the edge of the bed. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing a single words coming out. ‘Ergg…’ he held a deep groan in his throat.

“You try to tense me huh?” he tried to keep his focus and spoke as cold as he can, ‘Oh God, even saint couldn’t ignore her in this situation, and WHAT THE HECK WITH THIS?’ Zoro cursed as he felt a strange sensation in his stomach.

“Try to tense you? What do you mean Zoro-kun?” she moved even closer. Now their space just a few inches, he could felt her breath. He just realized that he was taller than her. “Answered me Zoro-kun” teased Robin, and in one sudden push, Zoro landed on his bed. She has made a move now, and there’s no way back.

“Oi..oi Robin, what the..” his words was lost as he saw Robin climbed over him and sat on his lap. “Oi Robin, cut…cut it off” he spoke but sound like a groan. He couldn’t do anything but closed his eyes and wrapped his palm over his face.

“Why? You didn’t like it, Zoro?” she bent and whispered on his neck. He bit his lips to hold his moan. Robin brushed her index finger over his chest. “I guess I’ve got the answer..” she said again. Zoro still closed his face with his palm, tried to control himself. ‘SHIT! It won’t work’ cursed him. “Do you still not believe on me Zoro?” she asked him while slid her hand under his shirt and touched his bare chest. Zoro couldn’t hold his moan, she smiled. ‘Seems it’s work’ thought her.

“Ro..Robin… stop it” his voice sounds like a pray.

“You’re not answered me yet…” she pulled up his shirt over his head, he opened his eyes. ‘DAMN IT! You’ll pay for this curse woman!’ he swore.

“No, I.. I.. don’t believe you..” he tried to control his voice. “Cut it off Robin, I can beat you!”

“Prove it.. Cut me to pieces Zoro, or just throw me to the sea. Then you can sleep tight and pretend you don’t know anything when they asked you about my lost. So easy right?” she started to kiss along his scar on his chest. Zoro threw out another moan, one of his hand clenched onto the edge of the bed. He felt she smiled on his chest.

“R- Robin…Stop it, don’t do something that will you regret after.”

“hmmm..”

“Robin..I won’t stop!” he started begging to her.

She lifted her head to face him, “Don’t stop!” she whispered as bow and kissed his lips. Zoro lost control, he pulled her even closer and kissed her passionately. This was his first kiss and would be his first time, but there’s no way back. He has warned her. He rolled over and made him on top. They broke the kiss for gasped. He stared her eyes, admired her beauty and kissed her again. His right hand cupped her cheek and the left one gripped her hips roughly. He kissed her over and over again.

“Robin, there’s no way back now..” he whispered while kissed her neck

“Then don’t go back..” replied her as pulled his lips to hers… and the words totally lost.

      END OF FLASHBACK

     

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     Zoro’s mind back to the present while heard someone knocked the door. He lifted his gaze to the door and saw Nami come in.

“Oi Zoro… Are you okay?” asked Nami while sat next to him, Zoro lifted his gaze to her.

“Yeah.. I’m fine..” he replied coldly and threw his gaze to Robin again

“Hmm… Sanji said that you weren’t eating yet since last night. He asked me to call you” said Nami. Zoro just quiet, he didn’t want do anything right now. He just wanted to watch over Robin who was laying weakly on her bed.

“I’m not hungry..” he replied coldly. He kept holding Robin’s hand

“Zoro, I know your felling… I’ll take care of her” she hellbent

“I SAID NO! don’t make me rough to you” said Zoro.

“Okay, if you said so… I’ll leave” she left the room, She never saw Zoro like this before. He never be so emotionally, he was change.

Zoro took Robin’s hand to his lips, the tears filled his eyes. “Robin, please wake up…” he started to sobbed. He never become so weak before, a swordsman may not become weak. But he didn’t care anymore about it, he even didn’t care about being the greatest swordsman, even about Mihawk. He didn’t wanna go to that position without Robin, no.. not without her.

Sanji was leaned out of Robin’s door. At first he wanna drag that shitty swordsman to the kitchen and feeding him, but what he got just Zoro was crying. A cold-blooded stupid swordsman who would never cry even he lost half of his life was crying because a woman. He really felt sorry for his words for Zoro before. He got piss off with him, and that emotion which made him that damn words.

    

  FLASHBACK

Sanji just walked out of Robin’s room while he saw Zoro stand still on his last place. ‘What with that face, like he was in hell’ thought him in anger. He walked toward him and leaned his back to the rail next to him. He lighten his cigarette, took a deep breath, and blowing out the smoke. He looked away to the sky, he still remembered robin unconscious face; pale, weak, tired, and so fragile.

“The emergency time was passed, now.. She was resting.” He said coldly. Zoro kept silent, he didn’t know what to say, he just felt so happy to hear that she was fine. That was the only thing he want for the rest of his life; Robin is save. “But, she can be in danger even more..” Zoro snapped his eyes to him, he didn’t understand what was Sanji talking about. Sanji noticed his confusion, he looked at his eyes and said coldly “If she be with you… You just gave her nothing but pain, hurt, suffer, even danger.” Sanji paused and looked at to the sky again as blowing another smoke. Zoro still looked at him “And you know the worst part?” said Sanji as looked at his eyes before made his walk toward the kitchen “You even couldn’t protect her. So, don’t you even dare to lay even your single finger on her! I won’t let her go this time, not to a weak bastard like you.”

END OF FLASHBACK

-TBC

Tuhan, Keluarga dan Seseorang

Tuhan.. aku tidak ingin mengeluh dan akupun tidak ingin menyalahkan siapa2 atas apa yg kujalani saat ini,maukah Kau memberiku kesabaran yang lebih dari ini? hmmm...maaf jika aku terkesan mengajakMu untuk bernegosiasi, aku hanya ingin lebih dekat denganMu Tuhanku :)


untuk ibuku, maukah engkau berjuang dan bertahan sedikit lagi untuk kami anak-anakmu ini? izinkan kami berbakti padamu.. beri kami kesempatan untuk menarik kedua sudut bibirmu dan melukis sebuah senyuman indah di wajahmu yang lelah itu? lihatlah anak-anakmu yang egois dan tidak tau apa2 tentang ketulusan ini,belajar sabar memapahmu menuju hari tuamu yang masih menunggumu, bersemangatlah ibuku.. karena aku, dia, kami, mereka dan kita akan bahagia. amin...


untuk ayahku, maaf, karena keadaan ini membuatmu harus melewati dinginnya malam sendiri di sana. maaf karena keadaan ini membuatmu harus bekerja keras di sana. terimakasih karena terus mendoakan kami, memikirkan kami dan berjuang untuk kami dalam kesendirianmu. maafkan kami yang belum bisa meringankan beban di pundakmu, tapi percayalah ayah.. kami teramat sangat menyayangimu. :)


untuk seseorang yang baru saja mematahkan harapanku, aku memaafkanmu dengan sangat ikhlas.. karena ku percaya ini bukan salahmu atau salah siapapun. ini mungkin sudah di luar batas kita yang selama ini telah bersama-sama berusaha untuk mempertahankan harapan itu..,jadi melangkahlah dengan nyaman, tertawalah tanpa beban dan bangunlah harapan-harapan barumu yang bisa membuatmu menjadi lebih baik meski itu tanpaku. :)

Terlalu Lelah

lelah sudah. sepertinya semua hanya sia-sia. mungkin memang sudah tak ada jalan lagi untuk kita. tak apa, aku tak akan memaksamu untuk tinggal. kau individu yang bebas. tapi tolong katakan itu secara langsung padaku. jangan hanya diam dan mengacuhkanku. wanita itu makhluk yang rumit. kami bisa mengambil kesimpulan sesuka hati. dan disini, aku tidak ingin lagi ada kesalah pahaman. jika kau masih ingin aku tinggal, minta aku untuk tinggal. dan jika kau ingin aku pergi menjauh, katakan. katakan dengan lantang. diam-mu membingungkanku, diam-mu menyakitiku, diam-mu membunuhku.

kau tahu, dengan diam seperti itu kau tidak meringankan bebanku. itu tidak akan mengurangi sakitku. bicaralah, jika kau memang ingin aku pergi. aku akan pergi. 20 bulan bersama memang bukan waktu yang singkat. tapi untuk apa dipertahankan jika cinta tinggal sepihak. mungkin kau mengira aku baik-baik saja hanya karena aku tetap tersenyum, seolah-olah tak ada yang terjadi. aku menunggumu. menunggumu untuk bicara.

kau tahu, aku bisa menunggumu. aku bahkan bisa menunggumu selama yang kau mau. tapi aku perlu kau untuk memintaku tinggal. bukan hanya dengan diam. aku juga bisa pergi jauh. sejauh mungkin darimu, dengan jarak yang bahkan tak pernah bisa kau bayangkan. aku sudah terlalu lelah dengan diam-mu. aku sudah terlalu lelah diacuhkan. aku sudah terlalu lelah. sangat lelah.

Karena Aku Setia

Karena aku setia

Lihat cara dia berjalan

oh mengagumkan ... oh mengagumkan

Ikutilah jalan pikirannya

oh mengesankan ... oh mengesankan

Ingin sekali kutunjukkan

Betapa berarti senyumnya untukku

Ikutilah gerak jarinya

kau 'kan terkesan ... kau 'kan terkesan

Dengarlah dia bernyanyi

Kau 'kan terharu lalu membisu 

Ingin sekali kukatakan

Betapa berarti tingkahnya bagiku

Karna aku s'lalu pasti mengagumi dengan hati

Di setiap jengkal indahnya, di setiap jengkal buruknya

Karna aku s'lalu pasti mengikuti lewat mimpi

Di setiap sudut terangnya, di setiap sudut gelapnya

ini salah satu lagu favoritku, lagu yang dinyanyikan dengan sangat indah oleh Sheila on 7.
terutama bait

"Karna aku s'lalu pasti mengagumi dengan hati

Di setiap jengkal indahnya, di setiap jengkal buruknya"

menurutku bait inilah yang mengandung makna terdalam dari lagu ini. untuk menerima pasangan kita dengan semua kelebihan dan juga kekurangannya. what an amazing song.. :)

air mata itu jatuh lagi

lama tak menangisi kekasih
lama tak mengalami pertengkaran
lama tak meratapi cinta
tapi malam ini, air mata itu jatuh lagi

rasanya tetap sama
sakitnya tetap sama
menusuk hingga dalam
semua rindu berkumpul, air mata itu jatuh lagi

karena dia tawa itu muncul
karena dia sedih itu mendekat
karena dialah bahagia memeluk erat
dan karena dia pula, air mata itu jatuh lagi

sekuat tenaga aku bertahan
segenap hati menenangkan diri
meyakinkan diri semua akan kembali baik
apa mau dikata, air mata itu jatuh lagi

pipi telah basah
suara telah tersendat
sambungan telepon telah terputus
air mata itu masih mengalir deras

Seni? ya tentu!

Saya punya temen, anak despro ITS, keren kan? hmm.. sebenernya dia temen dunia maya sih, tapi anak nya easy going banget, bikin nyaman. dia beberapa taun lebih tua dari saya, dan nyaman banget diajak ngobrol, sharing, menggila dll. bener loh, menurut saya bergaul dengan orang-orang yang sebaya atau lebih tua dari kita itu lebih menyenangkan daripada sama anak-anak labil jaman sekarang.

Oke, namanya Shandy, dia cowok kok. hmm... dia pinter, wawasannya luas, dan kami lumayan banyak kesamaan dalam selera musik dan film, walaupun selera dia kadang lebih bagus.. hahahha... dan tetunya dia jago banget gambar, udah beberapa kali saya minta bikinin gambar ama dia, dan hasilnya sangat memuasakan... hohohooho... 

nah, beberapa waktu lalu saya minta dia buat bikinin gambar sketsa muka saya. berhubung dia gak sibuk, jadi dia mau bikinin.. jadi saya ngasih foto ke dia buat contoh nya.. 

ini foto yang saya kasih, karena pengen gambar dengan ekspresi muka galau XD

ya saya tau, pipi kiri saya kelihatan bengkak disana. O.o  bukan, saya gak sakit gigi, itu efek dari fotonya, karena sebenernya itu foto dari pantulan cermin, dan ternyata cerminnya agak kotor. maklum untuk orang dengan wajah pas-pasan seperti saya, akan susah mengulang foto untuk mendapatkan hasil yang sama. bukan berarti saya terlihat cantik di foto ini, saya suka ekspresinya.

lalu, besok atau lusanya, dia bilang kalo gambarnya udah jadi sketsanya, dan dikasih liat ke saya. ini penampakannya. 

sketsa pertamanya, suka banget!!!! :O

waktu itu, gak tau karena saking polosnya atau bodohnya saya, saya pikir gambar itu udah selesai. udah maen jadiin pp di facebook aja. hahahaaa... sampe dia bilang, "eh, itu baru sketsanya, belom jadi.." jedeeeer~ 

lalu sekitar 2 hari kemudian, dia bilang kalo gambarnya udah selesai. udah gak sabar ini, mata udah berbinar-binar, hidung dan telinga udah berasep aja.. oke saya lebay. dan taraaaaaa~~~ inilah hasil jadinya!! mau pingsan aja liatnya.. ada 2 versi coloringnya dan dua-duanya kereeeeeeeeen bangeeeeett!!!! *O*

ini hasil jadi versi pertama. mata saya nyaris jatoh liatnya. *O*

ini hasil jadi versi kedua, sukaaaaaaa~~~ *O*

hmmmm.... sangat menyenangkan sekali tentunya kalau terlahir dengan bakat sehebat ini. tapi saya bakal selalu ingat kalimat dia, "Bakat bukan hal mutlak. kemauan yang besar dan keinginan untuk maju itu juga penting." ya memang, tapi tetap saja ironis jika dibandingkan dengan hasil seni buatan saya ini, walau sudah dibuat dengan kemauan yang menggebu-gebu.. here we gooo~ watch your eyes! XD

tadaaaaa~~ ini juga seni loh! ya seni! #PLAK

hmmm...gimana? gambar saya berseni banget kan? mau muntah silakan. -____-

dan untuk hasil karya nya si Shandy, kalo disuruh milih lebih suka yang mana, saya gak bakal bisa milih.. ahahhaa.. habis dua-duanya bagus banget... kalau anda?

surat kecilku untuk Tuhan

Tuhan, ini surat kecilku untukMu, tentang mama lagi. Bacalah.

Tuhan, aku tahu Engkau tahu. tanpa menulis surat kepadaMu pun Engkau telah mengetahui semuanya. karena kau maha mengetahui. tapi Tuhan, aku ingin bertanya, apa benar aku sekuat yang itu? apa benar ujian ini masih dalam batas kemampuanku? karena Tuhan, aku tak merasa sekuat yang Engkau pikirkan, percayalah aku tak sekuat itu. aku tidak marah, juga tidak kesal, siapa aku kalau berani-beraninya marah atau kesal pada penciptaku, pencipta segalanya. tidak Tuhan, aku tidak berani. 

Tuhan, kau ingat mama kan? tentu saja, Engkau adalah Tuhan. Engkau juga tahu kan kalau sekarang mama sedang sakit? mama sekarang hanya bisa berbaring di tempat tidur, dengan tubuhnya yang semakin tua dan lemah. Tuhan, mama selalu sedih, meringis kesakitan, juga menangis. mama jarang sekali tersenyum, tak bersemangat lagi bersenda gurau, apalagi tertawa. aku nyaris tak pernah melihat mama tertawa lagi. Tuhan, aku ingin melihat mama tertawa lagi.

Tuhan, dulu aku pernah bilang kan kalau mama sudah terlalu banyak bersedih, sekarang mama semakin sering bersedih, semakin sering menangis. aku juga pernah memintaMu untuk menyimpan air matanya untuk saat-saat bahagia kan? sekarang aku memintanya lagi. aku akan selalu meminta sampai itu terjadi. jadi Tuhan, kumohon jangan lelah terhadapku. 

Tuhan, aku ingin meminta lagi. aku ingin Engkau menyembuhkan penyakit mama. karena Engkaulah yang memberi sakit dan hanya Engkau pula lah yang dapat menyembuhkannya. aku ingin Engkau mengembalikan senyum mama, tawanya, semangatnya, keceriaannya. aku ingin Engkau melindungi dan menjaganya selalu, meridhoi setiap tarikan nafasnya, tiap detakan jantungnya. karena Tuhan, hanya Engkaulah yang paling bisa kupercaya untuk menjaga mama. Tuhan, aku juga ingin Engkau memberikan kesabaran yang berjuta kali lipat kepada keluarga kami, kepada kakak-kakak ku yang selama ini menjaga dan mengurus mama, berikanlah ketabahan dan keikhlasan dihati kami semua. 

Tuhan, apa permintaanku terlalu banyak? tidak kan? karena aku punya hak untuk meminta dan berdoa sebanyak mungkin kepadaMu kan? karena hanya Engkaulah tampatku meminta dan berdoa. dan Tuhan, tolong, selipkanlah doa-doaku ini diantara doa-doa yang Engkau kabulkan. amin.

Saya tak sebaik ‘Indi’, tak sebaik ‘Mika’. juga tak sekuat mereka.

Bima bilang, aku pasti tolol kalau mau berpacaran dengan Mika. Ia bilang, Mika itu aneh dan bukan orang yang pantas untuk dipacari. Aku tidak mengerti. Jadi aku tanyakan alasannya. Bima bilang, itu karena Mika sakit AIDS.

aku bertanya pada Mika, “Apa AIDS membuatmu berhenti tertawa ketika kamu menonton film Mr.Bean?” Mika jawab “Tidak.”

“Apa AIDS membuatmu berhenti merasa bahwa coklat M&M’S adalah yang paling enak?” Mika jawab “Tidak.”

“Apa AIDS membuatmu berhenti berfikir bahwa Tuhan itu ada?” Mika jawab “Tidak.”

Lalu aku putuskan untuk berhenti bertanya. Karena aku segera yakin bahwa Bima salah. Tidak mungkin seseorang yang tertawa ketika menonton  Mr.Bean, menyukai coklat M&M’S dan percaya pada Tuhan itu tidak pantas untuk dipacari, kan?

- sinopsis ‘Waktu aku sama Mika’ - Indi

    Saat membaca sinopsis buku “Waktu aku sama Mika” ini, saya langsung tertarik. saya langsung memposisikan diri saya sebagai ‘Indi’ sang penulis. dan saya sadar saya tak sekuat dia, tak setegar dia, dan tak sebaik dia. saya pasti akan menjaga jarak dengan ‘Mika’. saya pernah beberapa kali berinteraksi langsung dengan orang yang terinfeksi HIV/AIDS, saat saya tergabung dalam survey narkoba pada penyalah guna. saya berinteraksi dengan mereka yang masih terlihat sangat bugar sampai dengan yang sudah terbaring lemah dengan selang-selang infus yang bergantungan. saat itu, saya cukup menjaga jarak dengan mereka -paranoid, tidak. kolot, ya.-, tetapi tanpa mereka sadari. bukannya saya tidak paham dengan cara penularan AIDS, saya hanya merasa saya perlu menjaga jarak. mungkin pengaruh pikiran kolot saya yang tak jauh beda dari orang kebanyakan. bahwa AIDS itu berbahaya. jika tertular tidak bisa disembuhkan, pikir saya. sedangkan Indi berpacaran dengan ‘Mika’, berinteraksi setiap hari. tanpa keraguan. itu butuh keberanian yang besar. dan tentu saja hati yang benar-benar tulus. 


      Dari buku ini, banyak sekali pelajaran yang dapat kita serap. bahwa untuk menjadi orang yang baik, kita tidak perlu menjadi sehat. untuk menjadi orang baik, kita hanya perlu menjadi baik. kita tidak bisa menilai kebaikan seseorang hanya melalui latar belakangnya ataupun penyakit yang dideritanya. SIAPAPUN bisa menjadi orang baik. entah itu orang yang terinfeksi AIDS, entah itu penyalah guna narkoba, entah dia penjaga toko yang sering kau datangi, entah dia pria bertato dan berambut gondrong yang sering kau temui di jalan, ataupun abang penarik becak yang becaknya selalu kau naiki setiap hari. begitu pula degan orang jahat. menjadi baik ataupun menjadi jahat adalah pilihan. semua kembali kepada keputusan dan keyakinan masing-masing orang. dan sekarang, andalah yang menentukan.